Getting Your Ex To Chase You - How It Is Done

Getting your ex back isn't as easy as pestering them and making your presence known until they return to you. It simply doesn't work like that. If you chase the person that you love after a breakup then you are driving a bigger wedge between you and them. The bull in a china shop approach is not the right way to go. STOP, think about what you are doing, and break off the chase.

In the immediate aftermath of a breakup it is almost instinctive to make every attempt that you possibly can to contact your ex. You may call them, text them, e-mail them, send them Facebook messages, even appear on their doorstep, and all to no avail. You have to resist the urge, you have to remind yourself that every time you pester your ex the less your chances of getting back with them will be.

Breaking Contact To Make Contact

This may seem counterproductive but the only way to restore contact with your ex is to stop attempting to contact them, keep your distance and drop off their radar. When you are constantly in your ex's inbox, or constantly ringing, you are inadvertently reinforcing the breakup and strengthening their resolve to remain apart from you. Your ex doesn't want to talk to you right now, you will have to face up to that fact and accept it. That may be a hard pill to swallow, but it will glean results.

You have to give your ex the time needed to start missing you. There is no doubt that your ex still harbors feelings for you, but right now it is easier for your ex to suppress those feelings than face you and talk to you. At this stage of the game you have to retreat in order to strengthen your position. When you disappear from your ex's life you will set the stage for your return. You want to make your ex chase you.

Taking A Step Back

When you step back and retreat from your ex you will be doing five things that will improve your position -

1, You will be giving yourself the time needed to get your emotions in order and plan your next steps. Success depends on you being cool, calm, and collected.

2, You will be giving your ex the time and space that they will need to start missing you and re-remembering the things that he/she loves about you.

3, You will be reflecting on the mistakes that caused the breakup. Reflection is essential. If you want to make a success of the relationship in the future you will have to recognize what the events that led to the breakup were.

4, You will have the time and space needed to re-discover yourself as an individual. It is very important that you know who you are if you want to be part of a functioning relationship.

5, You will find out if what you feel is true love. As the old saying goes - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Getting Your Ex To Chase You

Getting your ex to chase you is not as hard as you may initially think. By far the hardest thing to do is back off and accept the breakup. When you accept the breakup you will release the pressure that your ex was under, you will be unlocking the door to reconciliation.

After a period of no contact your ex's feelings for you will start to come back to the surface. Your ex will start to miss you, they will wonder what you are doing and how you are feeling. Eventually curiosity will get the better of them, your ex will pluck up the courage to contact you.

The stage is now set to get your ex to chase you. You will now be in a position to go to the next level and get your relationship back. The initial contact stage has to be played very carefully. You will have to keep it cool and casual to begin with in order not to spook your ex.

What Steps Should I Take?

Being dumped is one of the worst experiences that a person will go through in their life. The feeling of emptiness that accompanies an unwanted breakup can be difficult to deal with and at times overwhelming. You are at a vulnerable stage in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. This is the time when most people let do their heart do all the thinking. In order to get your relationship back on track you have to know how to avoid the breakup mistakes that a lot of people in your position make.

It is also imperative that you learn about the no contact rule and exactly how to put it into operation. The no contact rule will be the most formidable card in your deck. Used correctly it will help produce the result that you desire - reconnection with your ex, and the recommencement of your relationship.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/getting-your-ex-to-chase-you-how-it-is-done

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